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“The gift, to be true, must be the flowing of the giver unto me, correspondent to my flowing unto him. When the waters are at level, then my goods pass to him, and his to me. All his are mine, all mine his.This giving is flat usurpation (intrusion), and therefore when the beneficiary is ungrateful, as all beneficiaries hate all Timons (who lavish money on flattering friends), not at all considering the value of the gift, but looking back to the greater store it was taken from, I rather sympathize with the beneficiary, than with the anger of my lord, Timon (an Athenian whose contempt of mankind was legendary). For, the expectation of gratitude is mean, and is continually punished by the total insensibility of the obliged person. It is a great happiness to get off without injury and from one who has had the ill luck to be served by you. It is a very onerous business of being served, and the debtor naturally wishes to give you a slap. A golden text for these gentlemen is that which I admire in the Buddhist, who never thanks, and who says, ‘Do not flatter your benefactors.’”“The reason of these discords I conceive to be, that there is no equality between a man and any gift. Compared with that goodwill I bear my friend, the benefit it is in my power to render him seems small. We can rarely strike a direct stroke but must be content with an oblique one; we seldom have the satisfaction of yielding a direct benefit, which is directly received. But rectitude scatters favors on every side without knowing it and receives with wonder the thanks of all people.” “I fear to breathe any treason against the majesty of love, which is the genius and god of gifts, and to whom we must not affect to prescribe.When I have attempted to join myself to others by services, it proved an intellectual trick -- no more. They eat your service like apples, and leave you out. But love them, and they feel for you, and delight in you all the time.”
