And I have to see all these gruesome actions of humans on animal-people and each other and babies (Yes.) and children. (Yes, Master.) Before, I didn’t know all this existed. I just know that humans are suffering, like in hospital, and refugees from Âu Lạc (Vietnam) and all that. (Yes.) But I didn’t know all this ugly, filthy and brutal kind of life, exercised by even the most holy people, (Yes, Master.) so-called holy people, the most holy people on the planet.
It’s family. That’s what they do. And the husband and wife eat together from the same dish like that, of course, (Yes.) with their chopsticks. Not like he has one dish, she has one dish to eat privately. No. They dig into the same vegetable dish or food or whatever. (Yes, Master.) Or maybe I bite one bite, and you one bite. Me you, you, me. We share. And what for wear a mask to cook? Oh, my God. No, it’s a true story. There are witnesses. I went to her house, also, to tell her. And at that time some monks and nuns were with me. I don’t know who was with me, but there were some with me, still alive, not all dead yet. They know the story. And we were in their house, and the husband, as soon as he saw me come in… she invited me to come to her house.
And by the way, I passed by, so I came in to have a look. Because she’s a very pitiful person, very sweet and gentle. (Yes.) But it seemed like the husband is not very kind to her. So, we went in, and then as soon as I came in, he turned on the big radio, (Oh, really.) and turned his butt toward me. I don’t blame him. (My gosh.) My God. His character was also very bad. Kind of not very nice. Brutal. Abusing the wife. She always wanted to leave. I said, “Never mind, just be patient, be sweet to him. Then, maybe he will change.”
And she wanted to be a nun also. That made him hate me more. I don’t advocate that. (Right.) Only those who can, should come, with their parent’s agreement, writing on paper. (Yes, Master.) Before that, I just said, “Anybody who wants to come,” because I was too naive. But later on, so many complained. So, I said the newcomer has to have an agreement letter from the parents, or the husband or the wife. (Yes, Master.) Cannot just come at random like that. Even though they were adults already, they could decide for themselves. But I don’t want all this conflicting energy (Yes.) aiming towards me, and all the hatred. (Yes.) It makes too much trouble.
Many times, we had to evacuate from our own home, (Wow.) in Hsihu before. And people came and burned the house and all that. And blamed it on us, (Wow.) saying that we burned it to, get rid of the evidence. What evidence can I have? (Oh, wow.) What kind of evidence that they could find that we cannot find? (Yes.) That they know that we don’t even know. (Yes, Master.) Just to make an excuse to try to harass us. (Yes, Master.)
That man, that leader at that time, he’s reborn again in a very horrible world. Because of that, he has been chased and hunted all day long, every day. (Oh, my gosh.) A very frightening experience for him every day. (Wow.) I don’t know when it will end.
Because I did nothing wrong. (Yes, Master.) And even for tax things and stuff, it’s the accountant’s thing. I know nothing about accounting. At that time, we even lived in tents. (Yes, Master.) We did not even have caves yet, at that time. Caves were built later. (Yes.) And even then, they came and also harassed us, making a lot of trouble, that they had to leave the ashram, a long time ago.
They said we have nudist dancing inside. (Wow!) That’s why we didn’t let them in. It’s not that. We were on retreat. (Yes.) They always wanted to come and just look, look while we were sitting and meditating, or eating and all that. For what? (Right. Yes.) We don’t go to their house and look at them when they eat, when they talk, (Right. Yes.) or when they change their clothes or go to the toilet. We don’t do that. So why would anybody want to come to our house and do that? (Right. Yes, Master.) (Yes.)
So, we said, “If you’re not initiated, you cannot come, we are meditating, we are on retreat.” (Yes.) And they didn’t like it, so they came out and told lies to the police. All sorts of things. So, that the police came and made trouble for us. So, the government also came and made trouble for us, (Wow.) and printed in the newspaper that we don’t pay tax and all that. At that time we didn’t even have money. See what I’m saying? (Yes, Master.) We just made some Chinese knots or something just to sell. Simple. (Yes.) Or planting some soy sprouts to sell. (Yes, Master.)
Alright never mind. That period is gone, it’s done, but it was very difficult for me to do the retreat, travel the world, hold lectures and all that, I had to deal with all kinds of things. You know, they chased me everywhere. (Oh.) In the airport and even in the toilet, in the bathroom, they would just show up and scare me like that, (Oh, God. Oh, my God.) and ask me all these kinds of questions.
That was a very dark period and very troublesome. Also some had relatives who came to become a monk, and he didn’t like it, and he used his position as a National Guard or something to make me not be able to come back to Taiwan (Formosa). (Wow.) You know, visa stuff. (Wow.) Yeah, many things I had to… but these were smaller things. There were many other big things. At one time, another time or many times, all the Taiwanese (Formosan) newspapers and television, printed all lies and all fabricated things, that I don’t even know what they’re talking about. (Yes, Master.)
That was a very dark period But why do I tell you all this? What was it before? (Cooking. Wearing a mask to cook at home.) Oh, I see. That’s why the husband hated me. Maybe that or maybe he just didn’t like. He’s the type of person, very violent towards his wife. That’s what she told me. So she wanted to run away and all that. I said, “Oh, just be patient. Maybe the karma will change.” And then later, I left. I don’t know what happened to her. I still saw her sometimes in the ashram, in retreat or weekends and stuff. But there were so many people. I could only see maybe a glimpse now and then. (Yes, that’s right. Right.) They all hoorah around and I forgot who is who. Rarely I can recognize those older disciples. (Yes.)
Also, some wives of the husbands are jealous and also hate me. She thinks he is in love with me. Always goes on the weekends, every time to see Master’s lecture somewhere, and immediately has to leave, no matter what. And the wife, of course, wants him to help wash dishes, (Yes.) or check out the car or whatever. (Yes.) No, he has to go. “Master is in…wherever. I must go.” OK, fine, go. But they go home and don’t help or anything. I never taught like that.
I said, “You take time to meditate, but your family or your duty, social duty or job duty, you must do it perfectly, (Yes. Yes, Master.) even better than before. You have to show your love more to your wife and family, even more than before, because now you appreciate them more.” But no! After eating, drop the chopsticks, “I must go meditate. It’s eight o’clock.” Go inside and meditate. I don’t know if he was meditating or sleeping or snoring in that room, and lock the door even! (Wow.) The husband or wife knocks, but doesn’t open. (Yes.) All these types of so-called disciples, oh my God, they were killing me. (Wow.) Really making a lot of trouble, a bad name and everything. (Wow.)
…They told people I sold old socks for US$800. Nah… How can I have such money? I would have been rich by now. I have many socks, and if each one is $800, I don’t have to do anything. No business needed. Just sell socks, stinky socks. The older, the better, the more expensive. No? It’s printed on the newspaper (Oh, gosh.) in America even. (Oh, wow.)
And they said I have an American daughter also. In the same article or the same newspaper, they said “Clinton’s mother had an affair with whomever. Clinton is not the father…” Whatever they said. America is a land of possibility. It’s true. It’s true. They said, “Prove it.” That night... his mother is a nurse; she was there, she was in the hospital. Of course, she’s in the hospital. Where else should she be?
And that man happened to be there. Something like that. Of course, he goes to the hospital, maybe he had a stomach problem or diarrhea, something. No? (Yes.) (Yes, Master. Yes, right.) Could he just go to the hospital, exactly the night that the mother of President Clinton was there on duty? Maybe he knew. Maybe he saw the schedule of the whole hospital before he came, or he asked. Just one night, and then that’s it. Clinton was born. One-night stand. Oh, man.
In the same strain, I was there, too. I have a daughter. From an American man. I wish I knew who that is. I wish I knew. Where is that daughter? (Yes. Yes, Master.) And I wish I knew who was it that paid me $800 for the stinky socks that I had.
I told you. I did not have to do business. No? And I just do business, and they also criticize. “You are a nun, you are a practitioner, a spiritual practitioner. Why do you do business?” (Yes.) If I don’t do business, we don’t have Supreme Master TV. (Right.) (Yes, Master.) It’s very expensive, our TV, (Yes, Master. Yes.) and everything else related to it as well. (Yes.) And also, many other expenses I have to pay. My God. Everything we have to pay hard cash in this world. No? (Yes, Master.) I don’t want to take donations, so I have to do business. I don’t like it. You know I like to just sit in the Himalayas, (Yes. Yes, Master.) eating (vegan) chapatti, peanut butter, and (vegan) samosas now and then. (Yes.) That was the best time.
For me, sometimes it’s very hard work. (Yes, Master.) Very hard work. Challenging. Very challenging. And it hurts my eyes with all these lights. And I have a headache, and sometimes my eyes cannot open well to even read the text, (Wow.) or the things. But I have to continue on because of time pressure. (Yes. Yes, Master.) I have to keep blinking my eyes and doing it and rubbing it and continue. Sometimes it’s too much. I go out for a while. Come back; it’s the same, not much difference. Sometimes good, sometimes no good. It depends.
And I have to see all these gruesome actions of humans on animal-people and each other and babies (Yes.) and children. (Yes, Master.) Before, I didn’t know all this existed. I just know that humans are suffering, like in hospital, and refugees from Âu Lạc (Vietnam) and all that. (Yes.) But I didn’t know all this ugly, filthy and brutal kind of life, exercised by even the most holy people, (Yes, Master.) so-called holy people, the most holy people on the planet. (Yes.)
That was too much for me. I was in shock as well. (Yes, Master.) And it takes me a long time to even regain acceptance that the world is like that. But still, I cannot accept it. (Yes. Yes, Master.) I know it, but I cannot accept it. In my mind, I cannot. I mean, I accepted that I cannot do much about it, that this world is so troublesome like that. I just finally know (Yes, Master.) that it’s like that. But it doesn’t mean I accept it or (That’s right.) I think it’s normal. No, no, no. (No, it’s not.) It’s absolutely evil, hellish, and (Yes.) abnormal, to the ultimate sense of it. (Yes, Master.)
