Go home? Stay? OK. Then you can show them the tape of the United Nations today. Since you have not been there. You can have a look. They were talking about... Interestingly, somebody asked about how they destroy the forests in Brazil and make a lot of floods. Remember? In the newspaper? Just yesterday I scolded some guy because he cut one tree. I have a reason for everything. I do things with reason, so please be careful with what you do. I don’t like anything half-done, half-cooked, so I have to “cook” you well, because I love you. I’ll “cook” you well.
You see how beautiful it is? Parking under the trees, in between the trees. Looks so nice, and even there are no cars there, we feel nothing changed much. From the outlook, it’s still beautiful. If everyone parked one car and cut one tree, can you imagine how long this forest would last with the amount of disciples and cars? Not even two weeks. Each one comes and parks where he wants. And then he doesn’t like the tree in front of his nose, and he just cuts it. And it breaks my saw also. I cannot believe it. And such person also proclaims to be my disciple. How? How do you fit in with my teaching? When we do something like this, it’s not only the tree that’s important. It’s not the mistake, it’s our level. Our practice is so low, and karma is heavy. That’s what makes people not like us. Because of our level, not because of a tree. It’s just a leaking out of our inside. Whatever we do, it’s mostly from the inside.
Recently, I was having so much work and sometimes it’s very difficult to have time to sleep because of the Aulacese (Vietnamese) refugees’ problem, not because of our spiritual problem. Our spiritual progress is going on nicely because we started many years now and it’s more or less settled down and organized. It’s not completely organized the way you think it should be, but we can never be completely organized because there will always be new disciples coming. Until they become used to it again and cooperate, it takes a longer time. And there are always disciples, always new things, always disturbances, bringing new karma, new ideas, new egos, new pride, new stubbornness and everything. So, we always have to put up with it, especially me.
So actually, these things take care of themselves because now we have many disciples and each one takes care of the next, more or less. It’s not so chaotic like the first few years. And we have different Centers and everything seems to be a little bit settled down. So, it’s not the spiritual issue that gives me trouble and makes me sleepless and all that. It’s just the Aulacese (Vietnamese) refugees, the urgency, and the frustration of bureaucracy and the fear of the free world, to increase their own burden, which they already have. And the fear of the different culture shocks and clash, and the fear of the different ethnic backgrounds that make many nations step back from receiving the refugees.
Also, when the refugees first came, there were maybe so many misunderstandings, culture shocks and custom differences that are difficult to handle. Even though in the long run, they will produce and help the nation, but for the first entrance, they might create some kind of waves, disturbances in the social structure of that nation. So anyhow, this caused me to have a lot of work, headaches, sleeplessness, less appetite, and caused a lot of suffering, inner agony and tiredness, of course. And sometimes this also caused me to have a lack of time and energy to take care of the disciples. Even though inside, the Master Power takes care, but on the outside sometimes you see me a little bit more tired or something like that.
It is because of this. So recently I was in this kind of mood and wild schedule. Even sometimes when I’m on a lecture tour, I have to also take care of the refugee problem. Side by side, in the daytime or evening lecture and in the nighttime, I have to work on taking care of this. I cannot show you what I’m working on because it is not so easy. Sometimes you make 108 telephone calls, and then it ends up being nothing. Or you stay up all night and write some beautiful proposals and get rejected. You have to put the process together and the structure, which, I’m not a businesswoman. And they demand a good proposal, even before they accept it or not, to know how much money is needed, how you will handle it, how the person is going to work, and how the refugees are going to be taken care of. Everything, everything, everything they want to know.
And therefore, these things, even though it has not been successful, it causes a lot of work for me. And other people cannot always replace my work. So many letters I have to dictate, even though they sign it. I have to dictate because they don’t know how to write it and they don’t write it the way they should. So, I have to take care of every little thing. So recently I was very tired, have been very tired. So even when I sleep, I have nightmares.
Just to give an example of what I have just said to you before, whatever comes out of even our dreams, our actions, is the leaking out of our inside, of what we are full of inside. So do not think that because you cut one more blade of grass, then I will scold you. It is your karma, your heavy karma, it is your lower level of consciousness that causes this. But we should demonstrate our inside wisdom by every action in life and daily life. That’s how people know you are wise or not. People know whether you truly practice or not, whether you progress or not. Otherwise, you can boast many things. You can hang all my pictures all over your chest and your hair and your feet and your hand, everywhere to show your devotion, but that won’t fool anyone if your actions, your speech, and your thoughts are so low and harmful.
So going back to my recent state. I was tired that even one day I had a bad dream. I don’t dream, but that day I dreamt. What did I dream? It’s just all kinds of topsy-turvy. It means nothing at all really. I dreamed about my… I saw my father and we were somewhere, but it was not in our house. Anyhow, my father was there. But it was at the end that I was supposed to be with my father somewhere. And I wasn’t the Master. Somewhere in the old time. And I had a snake(-person) with me. And the snake(-person)’s supposed to bite everybody on the heels whenever he got a chance. He looks cute and quiet, but he bites. And I just took him along for a walk. I didn’t know how I did it. I remember maybe taking him by the tail. But I don’t know how we can take a snake(-person) by the tail to go for a walk. But that happened in the dream. In a dream everything happens.
And it’s a strange dream and very rare. I probably was too exhausted, and too frustrated with all these things and all the sleepless nights and was nervous, stressed. So, I remember taking him by the tail, walking around. Taking him for a walk like you take a dog(-person) for a walk. I took a snake(-person) for a walk, probably he belonged to me. So anyhow, suddenly I felt something, like it wasn’t walking with me. I don’t know how a snake(-person) walks, but he seemed to walk in my dream. Anyhow, I looked back, and I saw he was so wounded and swollen, the whole body except the tail part. And I was so broken in my heart. So, I knew. And I was so heartbroken that I knelt down in front of him. I said, “Please, don’t die. Let me die for you.” And I cried for him. I really wanted to die for him. I really felt that it was so terrible. I said, “Whatever happened, just let me bear it for you. Let me die for you.” And I woke up at that time.
And then I said to one of the attendants at that time, I said, “Oh, jeez, how come I had a dream like that? Take a snake(-person) by his tail and go walking. And I didn’t realize it hurt him so much. And I felt so very, very hurt about that, very bad that I knelt beside him and said, ‘Please, don’t die. Just let me die for you.’” And so, I said, “How come you want to die for a snake(-person)?” I kept asking myself. And I said to the attendant, “It’s a strange dream. Even if it happened like so, how can I truly want to die for the snake(-person)?” Instead of him, I wanted to replace him, to die for him instead and suffer for him instead. I said, “How come? It’s so strange. If you want to die for your loved one or a person, you can understand, but for a snake(-person)! Who has heard of these things? How come it’s such a strange dream?” So the attendant said, “It is because You’re always full of Love. So even in a dream, even for the snake(-person), You would express this kind of attitude and have this kind of mental attitude.” So I was enlightened then, through the attendant.
Photo Caption: Never Mind the Unpleasant Ground, Grow From It to Spring Life Up!
