I said, “[…] And your mother, of course, she gave birth to you, you have to always love her in your heart and be thankful to her all the time. But don’t show it more than to your wife.” But he said, “Why?” I said, “Why? Because your mother has your father, and she has you all these years already. And your wife has just been married to you some years now. She’s entitled to have you. And you can always see your mother all the time, and your mother can also come. But don’t make your wife feel neglected. Never.”
I was very touched. I said, “Oh, that’s very good that you love your family so much, and you always eat together with your family. This is a very, very excellent thing. I want you to know that. It’s a very good thing. You should keep your family ties intact like this. It’s very good, very good.” But even then, he has a problem with his wife. Should I tell you? He asked for my advice about women. It’s funny. He asked a woman who forgot that She’s been married, I don’t know, 30 years (ago) already or something. How can you remember anything after 30 years? Do you? Do you remember? No. OK, never mind. But I tried to give him advice, since he asked.
Because some time ago, he told me he had a problem with his wife, otherwise everything is OK. And he kept mentioning it, another time again. So I said, “So, what is the problem? Why? Why is there a problem with your wife? Because you are so good a husband. You earn money, you give her everything, and you take care of your children, they go to college even.” So he said, “Yeah, I work very hard, 24 hours. Anytime customers call, I just go, no matter when.” I said, “Then she should appreciate it; you are such a good husband.” He said, “Yeah, but she still thinks it’s not enough. Can I ask You for some advice?” I said, “Yeah, ask me, if I can, I answer you.” He said, “I have three women.” No, no, no, don’t laugh. It’s not like that.
“I have three women. Please tell me whom should I love most.” I said, “Tell me the three first.” He said, “My women, my mujer (wife), my mother, and my daughter. I love them all the same. My feelings for all of them are the same, more or less. But how can I love one more than the other?” I said, “If you ask me, your wife is number one. You love your wife first. And everything else later.” But he said, “Why? I love my mother also, and I love my daughter very much.” I said, “Yes, yes, in your heart you should, you should even love them more if you want. But physically, outside, you have to show your wife that she’s number one. Otherwise, you have problems.” He said, “Yeah, yeah, I have problems because of that. How do You know? Every time I don’t make her feel like number one, then I have problems. Big problems.”
I said, “See? Told you. Even though it’s your mother, and she has the right to be loved, and your daughter, of course, you love her, but your wife, you should never neglect. You should always let her know that she’s always the one since the beginning, the middle, and the end. Never changes.” And he said, “But if I make my mother feel that she’s not number one, wouldn’t she feel sad and wouldn’t she then hate my wife and all that?” I said, “No, no, no. If you make your wife feel number one, she will also make your mother feel happy, automatically, and everything will be better. And she will also cook better for your daughter, and take care of your daughter better. Everybody will be happy. And if you want to show more love for your mother, do it behind her (the wife’s) back, somewhere else. You know, in her house, or something, but not in front of your wife.”
Because I saw him, when he came home, immediately he hugged his daughter. One time I didn’t have change to give to him. I had the 500 euro (note) and no shop wanted to take it. I didn’t have enough money to give him for the long-distance drive. I owed him maybe 150 something. So he took me (to his) home to change it for me. And I saw, immediately when he came home, he just hugged his daughter and said, “How are you, everything alright?” Everything. And his wife was just standing there. I noticed that from the corner of my eye, but I said nothing. So later when he came out and asked me for advice, I gave him. I gave it to him.
He said, “But why? Why do I have to love my wife more than my mother and my daughter?” I said, “No, you don’t. You just show it more. Anytime, you show it more.” And he said, “Last time You told me that I have to buy her little chocolates and some flowers. I did that, but it didn’t work too well. It works immediately, but it doesn’t work later on.” I said, “Yeah, you have to keep it up. And if you are very good and very affectionate, you don’t even need flowers, you don’t even need to spend money on chocolate. Just go home, hug her, kiss her, tell her you miss her, every time. Or take her out for a walk or to the cinema. It’s not expensive. Go out together to a small coffee shop or something. Hold hands, walk on the beach. Alone, not with the daughter, and not with the mother all the time tagging along.” And then he said, “But I don’t have time; I work 24 hours.” I said, “You have time. You make time. Whenever you don’t have a client, then you go with her. And even just five minutes here and there, every time you just hug her and kiss her like that, even just two, three seconds, it makes her feel good. And especially when you go out together with friends in public, you show it more.” He said, “Yeah! How do you know that? When I’m going out with her, if I show something in public, oh she treats me nice, many days.”
I said, “Of course. It’s plain like your nose.” My nose. “Because if you show it in public, she’ll be feeling very, very proud. ‘Look at me!’ She will secretly look at everybody if they’re looking at how you love her. You see? She’ll be very proud because all the friends, everybody, know that you love her. At home, of course, you have to do the same, not just go out in public and do it. Of course. But if you do it in public, she’ll appreciate it even more. She likes it even more.” He said, “How do You know all this?” I said, “I don’t know. I just guess. Because I’m a woman. Suppose I have a husband, if he’s treating me the way I told you now, I would be very happy, in Heaven. I will love him forever. And because you show it more, as you show it like that, she will love you more. She also replies with love, responds with more love. And then the more she responds, the more you also like it, and then vice versa, keeps coming, going, keeps building up all the time. Like a house, you have to build it to make it stable and nice.”
Because the affection, it keeps reciprocating, yes, that’s right. And then you appreciate each other even more. “Oh, yesterday, he was so loving to me. He bought me chocolates even though he was so busy. He came home quickly, just for five seconds, just to give me chocolates and then ran out.” Things like that. And then she cooks special things for him or being lovey-dovey at night, more. And then because of that, he’s also happy the next day and feels more love for her. You see? I said, “Because if she’s happy, then you’re happy. If she’s not happy, even when you’re working, you don’t feel good. You feel you don’t have energy.” He said, “Yes, I feel drained whenever we had an argument. I don’t want to work. I don’t want to do anything. I can’t even concentrate on my driving. I’m not nice to the client, even though I’m trying, but my face is so long.” I said, “Yes, we don’t want to be a horse, with a face so long.” So, etc., etc.
And still he said, “But why do I have to be more nice to my wife than my mother and my daughter? My daughter, I love her. She’s lovely, and she’s so good, a good daughter.” I said, “Yes, of course she is. Because you’re good, she’s good. And your mother, of course, she gave birth to you, you have to always love her in your heart and be thankful to her all the time. But don’t show it more than to your wife.” But he said, “Why?” I said, “Why? Because your mother has your father, and she has you all these years already. And your wife has just been married to you some years now. She’s entitled to have you. And you can always see your mother all the time, and your mother can also come. But don’t make your wife feel neglected. Never. And then, your mother, she’s also old now, she will leave you, go back to Heaven, soon. And your daughter, maybe tomorrow she sees a handsome classmate somewhere, and then she won’t even remember what your name is. And she will go out soon to marry and have a life of her own. And all you have is your wife, in the beginning, and in the middle, and in the end. She will stick with you all your life through your sickness and your health, as you’re rich and poor, this is true like that. And if you don’t love each other, you don’t take care of each other, then you don’t have the happiness that’s supposed to last all your life. I tell you all this because I see you love your wife very much. But you have to show it. Not tell me, tell her. Not tell me that you love her, she hears nothing. I’m just a client. I can’t even come and tell her.”
I did, I did though. I mean, just one time, that opportunity when we came in, changed money, I immediately… Because I know they already had a little problem. Immediately I came in and said, “Ha! You are the one, the lucky one. You are the one that he always talks about.” And she immediately said, “Bad things, right? Bad things, right?” I said, “No, never, never. He loves you so much, so much. Even I feel envious and jealous. He said that…” “But what did he say about me? How do You know he loves me?” “He told me he loves you so much. And then he said that you’re such a good wife. He always wants to come home and eat with you. Even if I invited him, he never went out with me. You’re lucky. And he said you are so beautiful, even after so many years, he’s still in love with you.”
And then she began to believe, and she said, “Did he say also I clean the house very nice?” I said, “Of course! Of course! He told me that all the time! He said he could never imagine a woman could be more clean than you. And look at your house, look at this. You see? You see, really, he told the truth.” It’s true. She really cleans the house, my God. They bought the house ten years already, and before that, somebody already lived there. But the floor, it’s like it’s just been built yesterday, and you can even eat from it. And it’s so shiny like a mirror. (Wow.) So shiny, as if she put oil on it. I don’t know, maybe she did. So clean everywhere! They have just a small townhouse, but it’s so beautiful and clean. And I said, “I’m sure you cook excellent as well, otherwise your husband wouldn’t be so addicted.” And she was so happy, her face was so red, and her eyes were bright. And after that, she came all the way out to the gate to see me off. “Come back any time, please, come back!” I’m just a client, a tourist, I told them. “Come back please, come back any time.” “My house is Your house.” My God. Just a one-time client and tourist.
So, I don’t know why I tell you so many things. Ah, about the Spanish who don’t eat out. They do, but I don’t know, maybe they don’t really like foreign food that much. Not like the Germans or maybe the English. Right? I’m sorry for you. Then why did…? (We get a lot of other nationalities.) You’re getting better now? (Once they come in, they love it.) Yeah, the other people. (It’s just getting them to come in.) Yeah, yeah, but the natives are very difficult. (Yes.) Difficult. They just like to eat at home. Because their lunch time is their siesta [nap] time. And they go home, eat and then sleep, rest, or go out with their friends. They like it very much like that. The same with the Italians, I think. They’re more family and friends oriented. So don’t blame them. In Spain, I also heard complaints from an Indian restaurant as well. Chinese restaurants are also not too full. Because they say the Spanish don’t like Indian food. Not too much, not too much. So mostly they sell to the tourists. So, that’s my story. How… Ah, because of your restaurant, we talked so much.
Anybody else? Are you OK? Need some paper? (I’m fine, Master. My eyes get blurred.) You need some paper? (I’ve got some here. I’m fine, thank You.) You need some eye drops? I have some. (No. It’s OK.) I will give you some later, OK? (OK.) It helps. (OK. Thank You.) Sometimes I have also very dry eyes. Recently, I had big trouble, with the eye. It was so red and swollen. And I had to have special treatment, and then every day I had to wash it, to moisten it. Sometimes it just happens. Maybe, sometimes it’s when you awaken too suddenly from a sleep, and your eyes were still very dry. It feels dry, because at that time maybe your soul left the body, and it’s almost like you’re dead. So the eyes were just opened and turned upward, all the night or all these hours like that. Or when you meditate and suddenly you wake up before your soul takes time to readjust, then your eyes also feel dry. So please do have some eye drops, simple, like tear drop stuff, just to clean the eyes, to moisten them. After meditation, or whenever you feel dry, do that, take care of your eyes. I know you have wisdom eye, and it’s very important, but my God, we do need these for everything else.
