So, sometimes I’m not as free as you are. So, if you invite me to go here and there, and I cannot go, don’t be mad at me. Don’t be angry and upset or anything. I’m trying my best all the time. But the situation is not always favorable for me. This world is not my world; it’s not your world, either. We are in the wrong world, and we try to love this world and try to make it better. […] We couldn’t live like everybody else; we couldn’t just ignore things and enjoy ourselves and just say, “Nothing, no problem.”
And then, another time, I had two drivers, and the dog-people went separately because, at that time, I had more dog-people. And then he (driver) just totaled the car. Because I told him to follow – he didn’t follow. He just went his own way. It’s fine, but he didn’t even use GPS. And then he asked the police somewhere to make a GPS (map) for him and told the police, of course, where he was going. Yeah, in my car, for example. And my dog(-people) are not that invisible, are they? They’re special dog-people, supposed to go anonymously. But then he totaled the car afterward because he didn’t follow us, the first car. And that was not the only problem; he didn’t even know where he was. He couldn’t tell me where he was so that we could find him. But before that, I told him, “OK, please, if you’re lost now, just stay in that station, stay there; we’re coming back for you.” No, he didn’t. He left again and was lost so many hours. I’d been home already all night; he was not there – not home, but, I mean, I went to the destination already.
I wasn’t worried about him; I was worried about my dog-people. And true it was, he totaled the car. Luckily, he just had some scratches, and the dog-people had no problems – no problems at that time. But because of that, Hermit had a liver problem and died soon afterward, but died in agony. And it agonized me even up till now. Because maybe he ruptured his liver or something, and there was no cure. And he died in such an agonizing way, and I could not forgive myself. Not that he complained or anything, but he had pain, and it was such a terrible thing that I could do nothing. Because he took also karma from that guy. Dog(-people) are like that; they take some of your karma if you do something for them.
My God, all night, I was worried sick. Because he didn’t even turn on the phone, or the phone was out of order or something. And then, finally, I could talk to him, and he said his battery was almost going out. Oh! And then I said, “OK, never mind. Just tell quickly your GPS position. If you don’t know where you are, just tell the GPS.” Luckily, he had a GPS. So, I never knew how these things work. I never knew that you could trace somebody by GPS because I don’t know how to use GPS myself. I don’t even know how to spell GPS. But I do know from somewhere that you can find it if you know the GPS position.
Because the guy just totaled it on the highway, he didn’t even know where it was. I said, “There must be a house or some street somewhere.” He said, “No.” “OK, go a little bit further and find a house.” He found a house, but he didn’t know where he was still. “No address on the house,” he said. He could not read the foreign language, whatever. OK, fine. I said, “Come back quickly and read the GPS.” And then the guy who knew the GPS stuff had to go there and get him back because even he could not go back, the car was totaled. That car would cost maybe US$50,000, but we had to sell it for 600 euros because nobody wanted to buy it. Well, maybe they could use the engine, and they could fix it, but that’s the way they buy it in the garage; they don’t pay much money. And I was just glad to get rid of it, whatever. We had nothing to do with it anymore.
And the driver who totaled his car, I was begging him on the phone to tell me where they were so that I could go and find them and my dog-people. I said, “We will not sue you or anything. We don’t blame you for anything. We just want to know where my friend is, and my dog(-people). I just want to go and get them.” And as soon as he heard that, he cut. He didn’t talk to me anymore, he turned off the phone, and then he drove away. He worried that we’d come and get him and get him into trouble. I don’t blame him, of course, but that’s how people are. And I was so terrified because of my dog-people; they didn’t even know where they were, and his phone was almost out of battery, whatever it was – my God. You understand? (Yes.) So even having two drivers is not safe. Having two cars doesn’t mean I’m safe and taking anything with me.
And before, I was always working with Supreme Master TV or a lot of conferences and all that. And wherever I went, the camera had to go first and all the equipment, so I could hardly have room to put everything that I need – equipment and dog-people stuff, and then all the things that I was working on, books or whatever I had to read and all that. I hardly had any chance to take clothes or anything for myself and for my attendants also. So, whenever we go to a new place, we have to start from ABC again, going and buying pots and pans and food and clothes. You see? And so, we have to buy a lot of things. And buy a fence to fence in the dog-people, and… So I cannot just take very little money. And if I take a lot of money but in small money (bills), then it would be a box of small money (bills). So, I only can take big money (bills), but big money (bills) make people suspicious.
OK, if you buy big things in a shop, then maybe you can pay with like a 500, and people wouldn’t say much because they’re used to it in a big shop, like a big supermarket, may be OK – not always OK. They call the security man and bring big machines – two, three machines to check. That’s OK also, as long as they check. But if in a small shop, and sometimes I don’t even have change – not enough to pay for gasoline and all that – then they refuse to take a big bill. So, we have to scrape together coins or whatever we’re supposed to use for the toll. And then later, when we go to the toll station, we’re stuck also. I have to beg all the passersby to change some money for us to pass through. Can’t even use credit cards. Do you understand? (Yes.)
It has been getting worse. Before, it was easier, but recently, it was terrible, terrible. Even changing houses doesn’t help. Luckily, I have some money. Otherwise, in the old times, it would be have been worse. But the old times had good points, good advantages – like they didn’t know you. They didn’t have ID cards. They didn’t have cameras to take your photo. You probably just had any paper; it was fine, but not your photo, so they didn’t recognize you if you went out. But nowadays, they have satellites; they have cameras everywhere; they have helicopters, so nowhere you can hide. That is the problem, but you still can run. They say you can run but you cannot hide. OK, don’t hide – can run! At least have a car, can travel, can run.
So, sometimes I’m not as free as you are. So, if you invite me to go here and there, and I cannot go, don’t be mad at me. Don’t be angry and upset or anything. I’m trying my best all the time. But the situation is not always favorable for me. This world is not my world; it’s not your world, either. We are in the wrong world, and we try to love this world and try to make it better. But it’s not that easy; not easy for you either. Not easy for me, but we’re trying; why not? What else to do? What to do? There’s no other choice. We couldn’t do anything else. We couldn’t live like everybody else; we couldn’t just ignore things and enjoy ourselves and just say, “Nothing, no problem.” “Nothing’s happening.” You cannot, right? You know it’s happening. You know things are not very good for everybody else, and we just have to try our best to help. Even though they would tell you sometimes, “We didn’t ask for help.”
Even some of the disciples... One of the disciples I was asking things, and I said, “I’m just trying to help you here, to see where the problem is.” “I didn’t ask for help.” “Wow,” I thought, “OK, try to remember that when you’re in hell again, saying that you didn’t ask for help.” You know, not everybody is grateful. And not everyone – even spiritual practitioners – is spiritually educated. Like you heard stories from India about how the disciples are very devoted to the Master, like to God Hirmself, things like that – you don’t have that in the West. You’re lucky already if they don’t make trouble for you, not to talk about respect and being devoted to you. But sometimes I need to use Westerners because in Western countries if you keep using Chinese or Aulacese (Vietnamese), it’s too obvious. The two flat-nosed going out together in a luxury car with many dog(-people), and before, even worse, bird(-people). It’s terrible.
But it feels like I have to be devoted to them, not them to be devoted to me. Well, thank God they’re doing something, but it’s difficult. Sometimes it’s very difficult to ask them to do something – as if it’s a big favor from them, even though I pay at the end anyway. I don’t pay every month, but I do pay when they go out – you know that. Even if I go in your car, I pay for petrol, for example. I pay something. Or if I go to your house, and I eat something, I pay something –like that. If you try to work for me, I’ll pay you something.
Before, when people came here to work, I told Tong to pay them. But she misunderstood; she made them pay. Because Chinese is like this: I said, like, “The workers, you have to pay also,” meaning even though it’s our people, you have to pay them also. But in Chinese, it says something like, “Those workers have to pay also.” This is exactly meaning that “Those workers also must pay.” But they don’t say “must be paid” like in English. I just said, “Those people, must pay also.” They don’t say who – who pays. But I thought that she understood because that’s the way we always did. But then she made them pay instead. Well, I don’t mind such an assistant making money for me. But it’s such an opposite, such a big contradiction. But never mind, later we paid anyway.
Anybody whom I owe something, please tell me. Anywhere you worked, and Tong made you pay, just tell me. I’ll repay you back with interest. No, no kidding! You’re OK? (Yes.) Just tell everybody else if they did work somewhere, and they had to pay for it. Because they came and stayed in a hotel – like this hotel or the other hotel – so it seemed like they had to pay because of the hotel. Originally the government was not very happy that we made it into a free place. They even suggested that we had to make it like a hotel, so everybody could come in and pay for it, and then we could pay taxes to the government. Somehow, I think we managed to make it into a legal meditation place, but it took a lot of trouble. Huh? (That’s wonderful!) Yeah, but it took a lot of trouble. My God – it’s beaten me up, black and blue, all these years. I guess it’s OK now; for how long, I don’t know, but it’s OK.
